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In Chapter 2 of STEP (Systematic Training for Effective Parenting), Dinkmeyer, Sr. McKay, & Dinkmeyer, Jr. 1997 it discusses that Children respond in certain ways in order to belong and feel accepted and do so by either carrying out positive behaviors or through misbehaving such as seeking attention (even if in a negative manner); through exerting power and attempting to be in control;  through revenge by saying or doing something hurtful;  or through just adapting an attitude of defining themselves as being Inadequate.  How as a parent should you respond to this?  STEP approaches toward parenting suggest that a parent should explore doing the unexpected.  A key to this is for the parent not to respond in a reactive manner but to find another response to their child to help them learn a more useful way to handle the situation that will better meet their need of acceptance and belonging. Parents should set down boundaries and suggest alternative ways of behaving to foster an environment that helps their children to learn from experiences.  Chapter 2 emphasizes helping children to change the misbehavior of negative attention to encouraging positive involvement; from exerting power and control to that of encouraging independence;  from seeking revenge to that of promoting fairness with others; and from  displaying behaviors of inadequacy to that of adapting more positive thoughts and promoting  self-competence.  http://emapdrschulz.com


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