On listening and forming connection as a couple
Sometimes when we are listening to someone it is hard to remain in the listening role without actively thinking about our response to the other person. There also may be a tendency to interrupt the other person in the middle of what they are sharing. These are two common obstacles that can prevent us from actively listening to the other and can result in a breakdown in the communication process resulting in disharmony rather than connection. The goal, while in the listening role, should be to focus on giving our full attention to the other and to be fully mindful of the other person. This is facilitated by being in the here and now present and focusing on the words the other person is saying through maintaining eye contact, being aware of facial expressions, and their body language. The goal should be acknowledging the experience of the other knowing as this process is reciprocated you should have an opportunity to be heard and acknowledged as well. When the other person feels valued and acknowledged it will help toward building closeness and connection as a couple. The opposite is likely to occur if we interrupt the other while talking or we stop listening in the middle of what the other person is saying and interject our own thoughts and opinions as the other person is likely to feel discounted. It is useful to summarize back to the other person what we hear them to be saying and experiencing with the intent of accurately summarizing the other person’s experience. As the listener acknowledges and summarize the thoughts, feelings, and wants of the person talking it offers an opportunity to promote connection. http://emapdrschulz.com