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On communication and conflict

It states in  Proverbs 15:1 “A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger” (NIV).  John Gottman, Ph.D. and Nan Silver in their book The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work mentions what they call the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse  that are likely to end a marriage if not dealt with: they are – Criticism, Contempt, Defensiveness, and Stonewalling.  1 Corinthians Chapter 13 is often referred to as the “Love Chapter” – it mentions, among other things, love as being kind, it is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, does not keep a record of wrongs, always protects, hopes, and always perseveres.  Our responses toward one another can either build up or tear down.  Healthy communication does not mean that we don’t confront one another when an issue comes up or that we don’t share our feelings with one another about something that has hurt or offended us.  However, how we communicate with one another and the ways we deal with one another when a conflict arises makes a huge difference in predicting the success or failure within a marriage. http://emapdrschulz.com

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George O. Schulz, Ph.D.


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