We have all experienced it. We have all done it.  We may not even be aware that we are criticizing others. Criticism comes across in words used, tone of voice, or facial expressions.How often do you affirm someone vs criticizing them? This applies to all our relationships with others, whether it be an adult, child, or adolescent. Every word you speak could be placed on a continuum scale ranging from that of criticism to a neutral statement or a statement of affirmation. We might even disagree where a statement is placed along this scale. Maybe you think that criticism should not be a significant issue, that people need to be criticized, and they should just toughen up and if they don’t want to be criticized just “do the right thing and stop doing the behavior they are being criticized about” and then you won’t need to criticize them. However, we do not realize the potential emotional damage done because of ongoing criticism. What we need to understand is that there is a difference between confronting someone and criticism. A healthy confrontation can help another person to consider an alternative healthier behavior versus ongoing criticism can evoke defensiveness in the other resulting in a fight / flight response and a wound to the individual or the relationship. Confrontation, if done in a healthy way, can offer movement toward a positive correction in the individual or the relationship without wounding the other person’s spirit. When we use confrontation, we are not coming across in a judgmental manner toward the other person. Our tone of voice is calmer and not louder or angry in expression. Instead of using “you” statements such as “you never do that”. . . “You always do this”. Reword that to “I” statements such… “when this happens (name an event)” … “I felt” or “I wanted … or “I” would have appreciated it if” naming a different type of behavior they would appreciate.   http://emapdrschulz.com/about